As i prepare to write this confession to the internet, i breathe in deep and think of someway clever to put this, something that will catch anothers eye, enough to respond. Im desperate for feedback from someone in the same situation i am in.

I have lived, i have loved, i have let down. I am ashamed. I want to change.

I am on the verge of something, a change, i think. I cannot pin-point it. Its very significant thought, Because my outlook on life changes everyday, Im moving twords something. Suddenly my ego is drifting and material object i have always fantisized about dont seem as important. I am starting to look at what i have more than what i want. I am healthy, I am loved, my parents are still alive. Do you know how many people would do anything for that? This world is so big.

Millions suffering and im worried how soon i will purchase a maserati. I fill my body with such toxic food in return to feel sick and guilty. I was in a band and drank and fought and disrespected people thinking i was higher than them, thinking i was destined for fame.

Maybe is a realization. I have lost things/people i can never replace. How bad do you have to treat someone for them to never wish to see you again, maybe not even attend your funeral. Its insane. That was me, me! I did this. Noone else.

Im scared. what am i here for? I drive my car and i will look over at the passenger seat. How many people have sat there that i have done wrong to. Broke thier heart, belittled them, lied to them. I start to shed tears. Who am i? Id do anything to earn thier respect back.

I have to find out what is going on inside of me.

Im sorry now, and i dont know how to get it back to “good”